Every morning, your alarm goes off and so does your anxiety and depression problem. It goes something like this:
Anxiety reminds you of the things you forgot to do or didn’t do perfectly yesterday.
Depression fills you with dread like 10,000 bricks weighing you down, making it feel impossible to get out of bed.
Anxiety reviews for you the 489007 reasons you must get out of bed and simultaneously worries that it’s not compelling enough to pry you from the mattress.
From the moment you wake up each morning, anxiety and depression seem to be running the show.
Anxiety knows staying in bed is not an option, staying in bed is failure. Depression says you’re already a failure so there’s no point.
You haven’t even gotten out of bed yet and your brain has already been working harder than most people’s will all day…all to fucking get out of bed. It really pisses you off that you have to work so hard.
You’ve had this struggle for as long as you can remember.
This fighting in your brain has been happening almost every morning for years. Sometimes it’s easier–like in the summer or when you’re on vacation–but it’s pretty much an every day thing. And somethings you think, “if it was isolated to mornings and all I had to do was get out of bed to make it stop, that’d be okay…I could handle that.” But it’s not.
Anxiety and depression fuck with you all day long.
Some days you can handle life. Some days you’re actually almost happy. It’s not like life sucks 100% of the time, but as soon as you notice life isn’t sucking, your brain starts spiraling toward all the ways you’re not doing enough, not good enough, and always messing things up.
Then there’s the days when you get to work and someone points out that you spilled some coffee on your sweater, and you just can’t get past it. On the one hand, you’re grateful she said something so you can change into the other shirt you keep at work “just in case,” but she laughed when she told you and so you’re spiraling, “was she laughing at me? She totally was. She thinks I’m a loser. I mean, who comes to work with coffee spilled on their sweater?! I hate myself. I can’t believe I did that. I’m so embarrassed.” You roll it over in your mind for hours.
You’re smart and you’ve been trying to figure this out for so long that you can recognize anxiety and depression are making everything worse but you don’t know what to do.
You take some deep breaths and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes sometimes and try to convince yourself that she’s forgotten by now and it’s no big deal, but then you realize, “if I’m still thinking about it, she probably is too. Ughhhh I’m never going to live this down. She’s going to think I’m stupid every time she sees me.”
At some point, you learned you needed to be perfect and to do all the things.
You tell yourself “this is nonsense, just forget about it” but then you find yourself feeling stupid for spending so much energy thinking about it. It’s like you can’t win.
You’re stuck in your mind, sometimes getting so lost you miss what’s going on around you.
I bet you’ve been to therapy for anxiety and depression before and your therapist told you to meditate or think more positively or she’s the one taught you to take deep breaths when your brain is spiraling down the drain to dark and twisty places. Those things were helpful…a little bit…sort of…but then you wonder why you still feel this way and if there’s just something wrong with you.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
I know this because I’ve helped dozens of women struggling just like you. They rationally understand that what’s going on in their head isn’t true but it doesn’t feel that way and they don’t know how to change the feelings. Good news! I do know how to change the feelings.
It’s going to take some time and some trust but your anxiety and depression problem can get better. I know this because I’ve struggled with it too–read a story about it here.
When I help women with anxiety and depression, we look for the root of the problem.
There’s a part of you wondering if you can really trust someone else with your feelings…heck, can you even trust yourself?! The feelings are so intense. It doesn’t feel safe.
I’ve got a million and one skills like deep breathing and distracting and I can teach them all to you but unless your therapy focuses on how you feel like you have to be perfect, you’re going to hating yourself and fighting with yourself in your head. We need to walk together through the library of feelings and get to know them all and help you see that they’re not there to destroy you. We need to talk through the part of you that worries that if you don’t do all the things, something awful will happen.
I’m not going to tell you not to worry. Awhile ago, I saw a meme that said “never in the history of the world has telling someone to calm down, actually helped them calm down.” I’m convinced the same goes for worrying. You can worry…just please also schedule a free phone consultation with me.
You’re already felt crappy for too long. Let me help you stop hating yourself and your life.